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Review: On Becoming


Happy new months TPJays!! Can some one pinch me because i can't believe 2016 is almost over. Just like that!! Lets dive into what i have in stock for you guys, i am going to be sharing my thoughts on this book. Regardless of my opinion, i think this is a must read. Before i dive i want to thank a very good friend of mine for getting me a copy (it was my birthday gift).

After seeing bits and pieces from subdeliveryman's twitter i got curious and wanted to know more. When i finally got a copy i was super excited and after reading it i learnt a few things and i decided to share. While reading this  book i kept on opening my mouth because i was shocked at the the things that happened in the marriage between toke and her ex-husband. And one thing i can say is that it all happened to Toke because she let him!

In general, the book is a good one but it seemed she was coming for her ex-husband. The content of the book does not go with the title at all, from the whole story she still was not able to tell us how she became. I felt she was just trying to tell the whole world  how her ex-husband hurt her and not how she evolved to the woman she has become. There is a bit of vengeance behind this book! Another thing that Toke did wrong was mentioning the names of the people involved she should have coded it.

So lets go straight to the lessons learnt...........

1. Let go & let God: I am so glad that Toke finally let go by forgiving everyone that hurt her in the process and let God take control. According to her story she only got God involved when she started having crisis in her marriage, God was not involved before the marriage which is a wrong step.  We are nothing without God, in every situation we find ourselves in we should always involve God he knows what is best for us! Whatever relationship we find ourselves in God should be the only third party. If she had involved him before she got married, they might have not even gotten married or God could have actually changed him. We all need to let God take the wheel.

2. Put your happiness in no one else but yourself: How can you let a mare man be the source of your happiness!!!! No! No! you should be your source of happiness and obviously God. Toke kept going back to her ex-husband because at the time she thought he was her only source of happiness that should not be.

3. Self love is really important: If you don't love your self as much your partner or any one else would take advantage of that! Toke's ex-husband probably noticed this and dwelt on it. In my opinion Toke lacked self love because at some point she was trying to be like her rival. If she loved her self she won't have to be competing with her rival, she won't try to change her self just to please her man. It was so deep she went to the extent of bleaching her skin.

4. Try not to be blind in love: To be honest it is not easy for we girls but we need to protect our heart and open our eyes. We should be able the to filter the wrong people out of our lives even if they come to us looking like the are the right one. It was so obvious that toke and her ex-husband were not meant to be. There were so many signs! Signs where every where!! But the love she has for him did not let her see the signs.

5. Talk to people: Surely there would be someone close to you that you can talk to! Toke was being emotionally abused and she kept it all to herself. No matter what type of abuse you are facing be it emotional or physical you need to speak out for help.

6. Stay away from people in relationships: This is directly to them side-things out there! If you see that the man you like is in a relationship or even married, for goodness sake you should back off. Why would you even want to share someone else's man when there are so many fishes in the ocean? Okay so toke's husband left her for you, he can leave you the same way he left her for some one else and even if he does not leave you for anyone, according to the book he is or was a chronic cheater so what are the chances that he would not cheat on you.

7. Accept your fault: Toke did not only tell us all the wrongs her ex-husband did, she was able to spot her faults in the marriage. If you have read the book you would agree with me that she married the wrong man, even after that i think her marriage would have still worked if she did not carry all the hurts of her relationship into her marriage. Her marriage should have been a new beginning for the both of them.


If you have read the book please share your opinion as well. And I also need to know why society promotes Nigerian men infidelity?? It is not really related to the book but i just want to know.


Thanks for stopping by. Cheers!!!!
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2 comments:

  1. I agree with you when you say those things happened because she left him and yeah a major part of the book was about her relationship with her ex husband but then again she spent a number of years with him. I think most of the lesson needed to be learnt are in the last chapters of the book. I don't agree with coding it though, I think the point of the book was baring it all, plus it's not like we know any of the people except her ex husband and probably the Anita girl. I enjoyed reading it though but I felt like the relationship was doomed from the mention of the Hauwa girl.

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    1. I partly agree with you because she never really said how she became from the whole experience and yeah i enjoyed the book as well.

      Thanks for stopping by.

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